Dad's doctor visit

I was able to go to the doctor today w/Mom & Dad. There is good news and bad news...radiation will not start until next week now, but that's because he will now have to get chemo as well. The scan showed cancer in 2 lymph nodes, but it's very small. The doctor can't feel them on Dad's neck so that's encouraging, size-wise, but because of this fact, they are calling it Stage 4a cancer. That's the bad news. Good news is it's centralized, except for the lymph nodes, and is small in the central location also, so he feels it is still fully treatable. Bad news for Dad...he will have to get a feeding tube inserted b/c most people who have get both radiation and chemo for the throat area have even more trouble eating and maintaining a decent weight. Dad is freaked out about that and can't quit thinking about it, also b/c he still has the other tube for his prostate, just grosses him out (he's worried they might get crossed, ha!) Mom is having a hard time not focusing on the "Stage 4" announcement. I am trying to remind her that it's all very small though. Pawpaw's was much larger and he survived his.

Anyway...we have had a great time w/family this week in L-view. I will post some pics later, but as always, we had our big Hayes Christmas on Saturday w/all the aunts, uncles and cousins. Something we have done since I was old enough to remember...and probably before that :) It's tiring, but fun. My Aunt S has been here from Minnesota and will be here through next week, she's Dad's oldest sister. Her daughter, my cousin Kat and her family are here from Massachusettes through Wednesday. Kat and I have been playing w/Adobe Elements 7, she is just getting into Digi scrappin' and her husband has been fixing my iTunes on my external hard drive :) what a good man! My bro and his family have been here visiting and enjoying everyone also. And let me tell you...watching J and his cousins is like watching Kat, me, my brother, etc...when we were their age. They sit and giggle for hours at nothing really, but they seem to be enjoying whatever it is! And I've been able to get a baby-fix w/Kat's youngest :) T was here Sat and Sat. night then had to head back to work. He has a lot of work to wrap up before the end of 2008 so it's a busy time for him. He's such an awesome man, always working hard and still spending all the time he can w/J & I. Tomorrow we will be celebrating our 13th anniversary and thanks to Mom & Dad, we'll be enjoying a dinner at Cheddar's :)

So...all in all, this week of a million Christmases has been wonderful...and I promise I will post pics and more info later. I have to catch up on some work for mom :)

Love you all.

Cookie Time at the Terrys!! (and update on baby Dalton)

Oh....I think I finally feel like I'm back in the game of life :) Although I still can't find my address book (arghhhh), it seems things have slowed down a bit around our home and my brain seems to be finding it's way back "home", ha!

We may not have lights up outside the house this year, but our tree is finally decorated and our stockings are hung! I love our stockings, they were patterned after the ones my mom made for us growing up...red felt w/sequins and beads. I, ofcourse, being the rebel I am, went a bit outside the boundaries and added some felt accents to ours to make them just a little different. We even have sent most of our Christmas cards out...BEFORE CHRISTMAS!! I know...crazy and you might even find it unbelievable, but it's true! Now, ok, not all of them have been sent, b/c I still need some addresses, but I would say 88% of them are in the mail :) We do have 3 outdoor decorations up, one of which is my Pawpaw's old chalkboard that I "swiped" before my aunt rented out his house again (with her permission!). I have such great memories of that chalkboard, leaving notes on it for pawpaw and just playing on it w/my cousins growing up. Now it is heralding the days until Santa arrives and it hangs by our most used door (front door) as it hung by his most used door (garage door) for so many years.

Today, J & I are enjoying the company of Indiana D and Ebird while their parents are hard at work!! Ebird & I have been baking cookies for quite awhile...we've made Jamborees, Peanut Butter Blossoms and of course, the ever popular Gingerbread cookies (that is the ONE of 2 Martha Stewart recipes I actually use, even w/it's 20 ingredients, ha!). J made about...um...3, but IndD and Ebird stuck it out w/me to cut out a lot more. J is much more into eating cookies than making them.

giving the thumbs up on the gingerbread cookie :)

Last week, along with subbing and finishing some online work, I think I must have made 6 batches of hot chocolate to give out as gifts to teachers, T's coworkers and friends :) (recipe below!!) We love this hot chocolate, it came to us from mom through a friend of hers years ago and given with a mug and even some cookies, it's a gift to be enjoyed. J even likes it in the summer!



If you have received a Christmas letter from us, you will have read this already, but it bears repeating here I think. As we decorated the Christmas tree this year, I was reminded of both our past and our future as 3 individuals and as a family. When hanging the plastic beaded-chains that once hung on my Damma’s tree, beads that mean nothing to anyone but me, I am reminded of just how important family is to me. The smell those beads still have, the same smell they had when I used to help Damma decorate her tree, just takes my mind back through the years of my childhood with my parents, grandparents...even my stinky brother. I laugh as T tells me about his Christmas holidays in different locations with his brother. When hanging J’s birthday ornaments, one for every year, we smile almost teary-eyed smiles as we hang up Blues Clues (2 years), Toy Story (4 years), Tom & Jerry (6 years), Coyote & Roadrunner (8 years) and the more current Spiderman. These take my mind back through his first 10 years of life and how far we have all come as a family. God has blessed us and brought us through many firsts, lasts, joyful moments, not so joyful moments, triumphs and heartaches. While there are more to come in 2009, we will continue to trust that God is God and He will take care of all of these times in our lives.


Dad still hasn't received any results from the PET scan but I will update on that as I find out. He does still have the "bag" on to help w/his bathroom troubles, which he is not thrilled with...and until he gets results from the urinologist on that...he might have it on for awhile. He will start his radiation on the 29th and while this is like a big cloud looming above us, it seems God has granted us all a peaceful umbrella right now, to protect us from the storm that could overtake this holiday season...but' isnt :). For that, I am most grateful and feel amazingly blessed.



Please also be praying diligently for my friend Heidi and her family... I just received an e-mail that Baby Dalton has pneumonia but is not in the hospital b/c of the germs he could catch there. Lori has researched Krabbe's a little and has found that many of these babies do end up dying from pneumonia so this is devastating news for them right now, this is changing their holiday even more than expected. Please lift them up.



Now for a recipe or two :)



Holiday Hot Chocolate (this makes a LOT, I usually cut it in 1/2 for storage convenience)

8 quarts powdered milk
2 - 16oz hot chocolate mix (Wally World brand works just fine)
20 oz coffee mate (you can get flavored if you wanna get crazy!)
6 Tbs baking cocoa
1 1/2 lb. powdered sugar

Mix all together in a clean trash bag (or if you do 1/2 the recipe, you can shake it all together in a really big tupperware bowl w/a lid on it)

Jamborees

Jamborees (some of my favorite Christmas cookies that mom makes)

3 c flour
1 1/2 tsp salt
1 1/4 c butter
1 c sugar
2 eggs
2 Tbs vanilla
2 kinds of jam (we like strawberry, apricot, plum)

Sift flour and salt together, set aside. Cream butter & sugar, add eggs & vanilla and blend. Combine dry mixture w/butter mixture. Stir until well blended. Take a teaspoonful of dough and roll into a ball. Place the ball onto a cookie sheet and, using your finger, make an indentation in the center of the ball. Into this indentation put 1/4 tsp or so of jam or jelly. Bake for 10-12 min. (makes approx. 7doz).

Scary times ahead, but God is God...and...

I am ok with that...aren't I?...I can't help my heart hurting and I definitely can't help but feel helpless in this situation, but much like when J was born so early, I have to know He's got it in control b/c I sure can't do a heck of a thing for anyone right now! Sometimes God has to bring us this point to remind us it's out of our hands.

Dad's visit w/the radiologist-oncologist was Friday morning. He will have a PET scan on Tuesday to get a more detailed look at the area but right now, the doctor thinks it's fully treatable. The scan will hopefully show him more of what stage the cancer is in and if it's affected a lymph node (Stage 1 is 100% treatable, 2 is 80%, 3 is 60%). He doesn't seem to think a lymph node is involved, but you can never be sure. SO...that being said (and I will update again on Tuesday after hearing any news), they are heading for straight radiation starting on Dec. 29th. He will have 4 weeks of radiation 1 time a day everyday, then go 2 times a day everyday for 2 more weeks. The doctor said it will be very intense and by the end of the first 4 weeks, he'll want to stop b/c it will hurt so badly. His throat area will be blistered and he probably won't feel up to much physically until April. He will also have some shots to help his saliva glands if he can tolerate the shots. My pawpaw couldn't tolerate them, a lot of people can't, so we'll see. If he can, it will just be easier when eating after this is all done. If he can't, he'll have to be really careful when eating b/c he won't have the saliva he's used to.

We are all scared, of course. I've been teary-eyed on and off for the last 36 hours, but otherwise, we know it's just something that has to happen and we'll deal with it. Out of all of the blessings God has given us through J, one of them is to realize that we just have to keep going, accept the challenges we are given and go on, trusting in Him for every little daily thing when you can't do anythingn else. Anyone who knows me knows I'm not always positive and pleasant about this, but I know it's what we will do. My Dad has always been a prime example of this...just pick up and keep going, so...that's what we'll do.

On a side note...Dad visited a urologist for a side problem he's been having since the initial surgery last week and now that he's um...figured out what the problem is (not being able to go #1, for lack of more technical terms...his prostate apparently collapsed b/c he had too much fluid collecting in his body after the surgery!) he is having to wear a bag for a week to use the bathroom in so his prostate muscles can regroup (a bag...w/a tube going up...well, you get it I'm sure!). He's uncomfortable and it's freaking him out a bit to have this around (and in...yikes!) his privates! This is actually comic relief in the midst of everything else :) He's walking like a cowboy...a slow cowboy...he & mom came in for J's b-day party last night so we were able to witness the walking, ha! I told him he looked so tired and he said "I am, but it's not that...I just keep thinking about this tube..."! I'll blog about the b-day later as mom took all of the pics and has them at home w/her!

Love you all :) And I'll post a recipe later also...gotta get some actual computer work done tonight!

Update on Dad

Nothing yet...just wanted to thank everyone for their prayers and thoughts. He had the CAT Scan today and will meet w/the doctor around 2pm tomorrow. They have an appt. on Friday w/a radiologist. Mom said the CAT scan was very quick, did one scan w/out the die, one w/it and he was done.

I'll post again in the next few days w/any results we finally get. And as a side note...be praying for me, I am not feeling well today, I seem to have...um....bathroom troubles? is that a good way to put it? ha! I don't know if it's just nerves or if I might have a virus.
Love you all...

A Quick Visit Home

Well, J & I traveled to mom & dad's yesterday. We drove up the house and since no one seemed to be home, we started heading back out of the driveway to go to their office. As we were leaving, Dad drove up to take his meds from the surgery. He looked good, of course. And after he said "hi" to J, J said "your voice sounds pretty good" :) J is very worried about the prospect of Dad having to get an electronic voice box (not sure of technical terms?) even though right now it's not one of the more planned on choices.

It did both J & I a lot of good to see him in person and to be around mom to see how they are both handling things so far. It calmed us both. Mom needed some help Christmas shopping and Dad needed time w/J. J did ask him lots of questions but I think it was great for both of them. Today, I was able to do some work for mom at the office and dad wanted to spend the morning w/J as usual. Donuts for breakfast, Nickelodeon and Disney all morning and fresh cookies for the trip home...a typical weekend at Grandaddy's :)

Tuesday is the CAT scan, around 2:15pm. The results might not be in for several days, but they will also be seeing the doctor on Wednesday. I'll keep posting as I get more news.

My Dad's surgery results

I know several of you have received this via e-mail, but I wanted to post it here also. The more prayer warriors out there, the better :)

Dad's throat has been bothering him for awhile (turns out it's been about 6 months, he just didn't want to tell mom b/c she would make him go to the doctor...duh!). So...after seeing the doc. yesterday, they got him in for surgery this morning b/c there was a growth in his throat. The results are cancer. The doctor said he hadn't seen anything like it before, it's sort of a typical throat cancer but one that comes from smoking, etc...which Dad has never done. They got the growth out, which was about the size of the end of thumb. It was attached to a stem (which the doc was glad to see, if you can be glad about something w/cancer, b/c it might be contained), which is still attached to the outside of his voice box. They will go next week for a CAT scan, then to see a radiologist. Unless the scan shows that surgery needs to happen first, but the doc thinks radiation (and possibly chemo) will be the route they will go.

So...keep praying and I'll let you know more next week after the next visit they have. I've told J, we have both cried a bit, and we have decided to go see Grandma and Grandaddy tomorrow after J's field trip. J, of course, is scared and I had to smile when he said in all seriousness through his tears, "who's gonna cook me cookies? Grandaddy has to be ok". He's afraid he'll cry when he sees dad, of course I've told him that's fine, but that I want him to see that Grandaddy is ok for now, that he's not frail or anything. In fact, true to form, Dad has only been home since 3pm and he's already been working!

The crazy thing is we always assumed the ones to get cancer first would be mom or myself b/c of the history in her family (you name it, they've had it). Dad's dad (my pawpaw) had throat cancer but we assumed it was b/c of his cigar smoking and out of all of his brothers and sisters, it's been a rare occurence.

Most of you who know me know I'm a big Daddy's girl, about as big as they come, so this is hard. I love you all and will keep the blog updated when I can and when I learn new info.

The Tale of Peanut & Dalton's Dream

I have really let the blog go since Thanksgiving! Sorry about that :) I will do my best to get back on top of things around here, ha!

Just a quick catch-up...we had a GREAT Thanksgiving at my parents. J & I actually took off early to give him a whole week's worth of r & r w/Grandaddy. School is tougher this year and it's starting to take it's toll. J gets more physically tired than a lot of his classmates b/c he has to work harder at the more basic things like walking, etc...and much to the amazement of some of my friends, we aren't "perfect attendance" monitors in our home. It's impossible w/extra doctor visits, etc... anyway. So a couple of times a year, I let him stay home for a day to rest (we have had 2 Christmases of pneumonia over the years...we now try to prevent that!). He laid around Grandma's, watching movies, reading and waiting for time with his cousins. We had a wonderful lunch w/Grandaddy's smoked turkey and then of course...Black Friday shopping w/Grandma & my 2 sis-in-laws :) (Well, J & T headed to Uncle T's house for the day, they aren't the shopping types!) We started the shopping thing a few years ago and I think we are actually crazier than the average Black Friday shoppers b/c we don't usually have any specific items to purchase, we just like the sales!!

Anyway...back to my original post idea...while visiting mom & dad's over Thanksgiving, I was able to spend just a little time with some of my closest friends from high school. On Tuesday, my sis-in-law and I went to dinner & to see Twilight w/2 of my wonderful friends, we had a great time! Then on Friday...after a brief nap...I drove over to visit 2 more. Walking into their mom's house was so calming for me b/c it was just like the 1980's all over again (not the decorations or anything, just the feelings I had...like we were back in high school..I spent a lot of my high school years in that house!). I didn't get to stay long, but the short time I was there made me wish I could have been there all night. Besides going to visit Lor and Hi, I was also there on a special mission...to hold Baby Dalton, or "Big D" as they call him. Big D is Hi's youngest boy, he is 8 months old and he has a disease called Krabbe's. This is a rare, inherited degenerative disorder of the central and peripheral nervous systems. Krabbe disease is one of a group of genetic disorders called the leukodystrophies. They discovered D had this when he was 6 months old. The prognosis is not good, he is expected by doctors to live only about one year. He is on several medications for pain and to help him relax. He is fed with a syringe and physically is the size of a 4 month old, these are all symptoms & troubles of Krabbe's.

All that medical stuff aside, I thought he looked wonderful! I just wanted to hold him all night. What a sweet boy and he makes such sweet sounds. I can't imagine what Hi and her family are going through on a daily or even hourly basis, but I know that God is truly working in them and through them. Such positive spirits, more beautiful hearts you have never seen. Hi also has a 3 year old so she is one busy mom.

Ok...I know...where does this "Peanut" thing come in...ok..ok...back in 1998, when my sweet boy J was born, the first gift he was given was a small mini-beanie baby named "Peanut". The nurse who helped me that first night left it in his warmer for him. A cute little light blue elephant. After several weeks of being in the NICU (Neo-natal intensive care unit), the above-mentioned friend Hi, sent J one of her Beanie Babies out her own collection to keep him company. She told me she wasn't sure which one to send but chose one anyway....and I'm sure you've already guessed this...it was the regular size "Peanut", the elephant doll (mind you...she and her sister had NO idea we had the mini version already!). It was like a love note from God for me b/c J had such bad days and good days, as anyone w/NICU experience can tell you, it's a constant roller coaster. You go from knowing your little one will survive, to being positive he won't. I was amazed at how God had lead Hi to choose this doll for J, knowing it was just what my heart needed as well. Peanut stayed w/J all 3 months in the hospital and a good 2 years after. He was a bit worse for wear, occasionally had a bit of blood on him from IV's, but was soon packed away with 2 other special buddies that were with J from his first day in NICU (a Caterpillar beanie-baby and a bunny).

As you can imagine...while J grew, I purchased 3 more "Peanuts", it was a thing for me. He has the big light blue one and he has 2 darker blue (mini and large) which are not actually named "Peanut" but are in the same family (if Beanie's have families, ha!).

A month ago, when Lor told me about Big D, I just wanted to drive up to Hi's home and hug her for a long time. However, since it was a school day and I couldn't make it there & back in time, it didn't take me long to know exactly what I could send Hi. I talked it over w/J and he thought it was a great idea, so we dug Peanut (the one Hi had given us) out of storage, gave him a good cleaning and sent him w/Lor to give to Big D. He's back home where he belongs, giving peace and comfort to another sick little baby boy and his heartsick mother. I pray that God has used this as a love note for Hi like He did for me. Hi told me that Peanut is w/Big D all the time now at home...and apparently her older son has one too! I love that :)

And another funny note...that old caterpillar doll that was always snuggled into J's "Snugglie" while he was in NICU...the poor thing only has 1/2 of one antennae now...his mini-version was snuggling w/Big D that night I held him. Lor's daughter is adamant about that mini-caterpillar being w/her cousin, Big D. God is so good, giving us connections and love notes all the time if we just have a chance to slow down and see them. T, Lor and I could have gone to eat w/about 40 people from our graduating class that night, and I'm sure they had a great time, but I think I had the better deal b/c I got to spend quality time w/Big D, Lor, Hi and their mom. I got to stop and hold a little one even for a short time..and watch his mom and aunt make tutu's, while his grandma & I laughed at them :) Just like old times, ha!

They are starting a foundation called Dalton's Dream. For now, the money donated to Hi and her family will help cover their mounting medical bills. In the future, Hi hopes to work on legislation to get newborn testing done for Krabbe's and other leukodystrophies. If you would like to donate, please let me know and I'll put you in touch w/Hi or Lor. They are selling blue bracelets w/"Dalton's Dream" on them for $5 to raise money also. Great stocking-stuffers for your kids b/c you can tell them about Big D and how they are helping to serve his family by wearing the bracelet!

J has rediscovered all of his Peanuts now...Blue J is the new name for the darker blue elephants, the larger of which is now the preferred travelling and bed companion :) Or "soft action figures" as his father likes to call them...dad and their sons...ha!

I'll get back on in a day or two w/some of our pics from Thanksgiving and a recipe for the BEST hot chocolate ever!!

(just fyi...Beanie Babies are EXCELLENT for preemies b/c they help hold cords down and out of the way and they are great for snuggling them up tighter in their warmers...they are actually practical!)