Scary times ahead, but God is God...and...

I am ok with that...aren't I?...I can't help my heart hurting and I definitely can't help but feel helpless in this situation, but much like when J was born so early, I have to know He's got it in control b/c I sure can't do a heck of a thing for anyone right now! Sometimes God has to bring us this point to remind us it's out of our hands.

Dad's visit w/the radiologist-oncologist was Friday morning. He will have a PET scan on Tuesday to get a more detailed look at the area but right now, the doctor thinks it's fully treatable. The scan will hopefully show him more of what stage the cancer is in and if it's affected a lymph node (Stage 1 is 100% treatable, 2 is 80%, 3 is 60%). He doesn't seem to think a lymph node is involved, but you can never be sure. SO...that being said (and I will update again on Tuesday after hearing any news), they are heading for straight radiation starting on Dec. 29th. He will have 4 weeks of radiation 1 time a day everyday, then go 2 times a day everyday for 2 more weeks. The doctor said it will be very intense and by the end of the first 4 weeks, he'll want to stop b/c it will hurt so badly. His throat area will be blistered and he probably won't feel up to much physically until April. He will also have some shots to help his saliva glands if he can tolerate the shots. My pawpaw couldn't tolerate them, a lot of people can't, so we'll see. If he can, it will just be easier when eating after this is all done. If he can't, he'll have to be really careful when eating b/c he won't have the saliva he's used to.

We are all scared, of course. I've been teary-eyed on and off for the last 36 hours, but otherwise, we know it's just something that has to happen and we'll deal with it. Out of all of the blessings God has given us through J, one of them is to realize that we just have to keep going, accept the challenges we are given and go on, trusting in Him for every little daily thing when you can't do anythingn else. Anyone who knows me knows I'm not always positive and pleasant about this, but I know it's what we will do. My Dad has always been a prime example of this...just pick up and keep going, so...that's what we'll do.

On a side note...Dad visited a urologist for a side problem he's been having since the initial surgery last week and now that he's um...figured out what the problem is (not being able to go #1, for lack of more technical terms...his prostate apparently collapsed b/c he had too much fluid collecting in his body after the surgery!) he is having to wear a bag for a week to use the bathroom in so his prostate muscles can regroup (a bag...w/a tube going up...well, you get it I'm sure!). He's uncomfortable and it's freaking him out a bit to have this around (and in...yikes!) his privates! This is actually comic relief in the midst of everything else :) He's walking like a cowboy...a slow cowboy...he & mom came in for J's b-day party last night so we were able to witness the walking, ha! I told him he looked so tired and he said "I am, but it's not that...I just keep thinking about this tube..."! I'll blog about the b-day later as mom took all of the pics and has them at home w/her!

Love you all :) And I'll post a recipe later also...gotta get some actual computer work done tonight!