It's that simple

"If you want to hear God's voice clearly and you are uncertain, then remain in His presence until He changes this uncertainty. Often much can happen during this waiting for the Lord. Sometimes He changes pride into humility; doubt into faith and peace; sometimes lust into purity. The Lord can and will do it." ~Corrie Ten Boom.

I have a confession...I have not been close to God lately. For some time. I mean, I pray and have been talking to J about the questions he's been having and directing him to God and the bible...but my study life, my quiet life with God has been missing. And let me tell you...this week, He has been showing me just what I've been missing.

I started a bible study 2 weeks ago with my girls at church (that's what I call 'em, although we range in age from mid 20's to mid 80's). Most of the ladies in this group, we have been doing bible studies together now for several years, the group changes occasionally, new friends join, others take breaks. But it's a time I have come to trust and need. Anyway...we are doing our second Priscilla Shirer study "Discerning the Voice of God". I knew it would be good, but I didn't realize it was RIGHT WHERE I AM. In fact, just yesterday, during the discussion time, I finally told the group "Well, I just wish you all would quit stepping on my toes, here!" because OUCH, is God talking to me. And I wasn't the only one. A few of us decided we need to start calling ourselves the Sore Toes :)

First meeting was the first video and I learned that "the change in times isn't changing HIS desire to talk to me, it's changing my desire to talk to him." OUCH
Day 1 I learned - ask God for his spiritual vision, even in the seemingly small personal circumstances I feel I'm going through, I need to be expectant. That's actually harder for me than it looks. Ok
Day 2 I learned - remove my eyes off of my circumstances and watch only for God. Eek!
Day 3 I learned - by ingoring His leading I am missing out on "supernatural and glorious results" He has planned for me. I don't wanna miss those!
Day 4 I learned - Let my words be few...be an aggressive listener and carve out a time with Him, like I used to. In other words...get off the computer for 30 minutes...yikes.
Day 5 I learned - My lack of faith in God's desire to speak to me doesn't keep God from acting, it keeps me from asking for his direction. That means I don't hear His voice. That one hits home.
Then during the 2nd video...and this one really got me...I might have all of HIM in me (Holy Spirit) but He doesn't have all of me. Which he wants. HE WANTS all of me.
Her wonderful example of this is a fuzzy tv screen. You may have a fantastic satellite and every channel imaginable at your disposal, but there can always be interference, causing a distorted picture...causing you not to be able to discern God's Voice. We have convinced ourselves we aren't hearing him anymore.

After this first week of daily studies, I also attended a Willow Creek simulcast at our church yesterday called The Green Room (more about this in a later post), where God had a reminder for me. And I know this seems an easy thing to remember, but it hasn't been for me. It's ALL about HIM. Yea, I know..."I know that, Froggy, we've been taught that for years."...yea, but do you REALLY know that? I didn't. During the simulcast on Friday, it all came together for me in a moment...EVERYTHING is Him. What we do, what we say, where we are in life, it's all HIM. There is not one piece that is about me. Not one, except for the fact that He wants me, He adopted me, He loves me. Listening a little more this last week than I have been lately, meditating on scripture as Priscilla suggested and this is what is hitting me.

And this morning? I was going over my notes from the conference after doing day 1 of the 2nd week of the study (which I'll share in a later post)...here's what brought me to tears. Ps 145:21. I will praise the Lord. That's it. It's that simple. I will praise the Lord. Not me, not my family, not you, not my computer, not my home, not my church, not my pastor, not my best friend. I will praise the Lord. daily. Because it's all about HIM and I need to share that, to remember that, to rely on that. He's been waiting for me to see this, I can feel it and I have missed that feeling for so long!

Will I be on top of this everyday from now on? Most likely not. But I want to be...and that's a good thing.