I'm a Skipper...

Yes, my friends, I do occasionally skip church (as 2 of my friends so politely text'd me about this morning!). There, I've admitted it to the world...well, to the 10 people who read this blog anyway, ha! I haven't been sleeping so well lately, I've been missing my "window of opportunity" for sleep for some reason, my brain just won't stop talking to me...any other moms out there understand what I'm going thru? The clock keeps ticking as well as my thoughts.

So, this morning, we slept in a bit (well, not T...he undertook cleaning out our garage). Thankfully, our church does a live stream every Sunday, which I've mentioned here before, so J & I sat on the couch and watched Pastor Mark begin our study of Ephesians. Well...J layed down next to me while I sat w/the laptop in my lap. He did listen, though. I answered several questions about Heaven and shared a few giggles with him as we listened to Mark talk about being Facebook friends with MC Hammer :) (www.cwbc.org)

Here's something I heard this morning:
God created me good, He likes who I am. Most of us can immediately list off what's wrong with us, but we have to search deep to list what's right with us...and not only list it but KNOW it as truth.

This completely gels with what I have studied this summer with the "Siesta's" at the LPM blog. I have been slowly...and I repeat...slowly, learning with 1000's of other women across the U.S. that God loves me as I am, that I have so much junk in my "thought closet" (my mind), so many lies...whether put there by others or myself (usually myself), that I haven't had any space for God's truths.
Truths like: He loves us, we are precious to Him, He selected us..personally...He's adopted us as daughters and sons, He gets a kick out of us, He wants to be intimate with us, we are WONDERFULLY MADE...I could go on.

The scripture I have been repeating to myself this summer is "May the words of my mouth and the meditations of my heart be pleasing to you O Lord, my rock and my redeemer." Ps. 19:14. Not only my words and thoughts towards others (and He knows I've got a long way to go w/that one) but my words and thoughts towards myself. The ones I've been discovering (and the ones, let's be honest, I knew were there already) are not scriptural thoughts, atleast not the way I've been thinking them. They shouldn't be in my closet at all. As Mark said today...Satan is a very intelligent angel, he won't come in beating us up in a red cape with horns, he comes in and whispers in our ear "wow, she looks horrible today" "oh, I can't stand it when they do that" "you need to take care of you first", "you aren't doing all that you could for your son according to that teacher...", "argue back with them, you are right!"... These are thoughts that can completely fill our "closets", edging out God's truths. I am wonderfully made, I am precious to Him, I am beautiful in His eyes and in T's eyes. These are the truths. I have so many other important things to do in my life for Him other than condemn myself. We ALL have so many other important things to do in our lives for God other than condemn ourselves.

God is not mad AT me (for these thoughts, for my actions, for the days I don't go to Him first....) He's mad ABOUT me and He's mad about YOU too.

And yes, there is a small part of me still nervous about that 20 year reunion, but I'm so thankful that I can honestly write here tonight...that nervousness is decreasing, cuz you know what? My GOD adores me, my hubby adores me, my son adores me...and I'm (slowly) learning to adore the me that God has created :~)

And I absolutely adore each of you!